Zombieland (2009)

A comedy that kills.

A shy student trying to reach his family in Ohio, and a gun-toting tough guy trying to find the Last Twinkie and a pair of sisters trying to get to an amusement park join forces to travel across a zombie-filled America.

Searching for family. In the early twenty-first century, zombies have taken over America. A shy and inexperienced college student in Texas has survived by following his 30 rules: such as "look in the back seat," "double-tap," "avoid public restrooms." He decides to travel to Ohio to see if his parents are alive. He gets a ride with a boisterous zombie-hating good-old boy headed for Florida, and soon they confront a young woman whose sister has been bitten by a zombie and wants to be put out of her misery. The sisters were headed to an LA amusement park they've heard is zombie free. Can the kid from Ohio get to his family? And what about rule thirty one?

Our land is their land.

This place is so dead

Survival rule #1: Cardio.

Survival rule#4: Don't be a hero.

Survival rule #21: Avoid strip clubs.

Survival rule #28: Get a kickass partner.

Welcome to Zombieland.

Stars:
Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Woody Harrelson, Abigail Breslin, Amber Heard, Bill Murray

Columbus: The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties.

Columbus: [after his neighbor changes into a zombie] You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.

Columbus: It's amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit storm.

Columbus: Oh, America. I wish I could tell you that this was still America, but I've come to realize that you can't have a country without people. And there are no people here. No, my friends. This is now the United States of Zombieland.

Nut up or shut up.